Well yeee haw

Today I passed my first aid course.
So now I can start saving lives. Not sure that I really want to, but having first aid is not the worst thing. Plus I got to meet some real different people there, if you know what I mean. And I got to blow into molded plastic dummys.

They kept breaking us up into groups to enact different situations, etc. This whole scene is pretty foreign to me. The whole office thing, and the role playing thing. I'm used to meditating on foot, and garden gazing. So this woman says,
"last night I had a bath with my daughter and she tried to shave my legs, ha ha", so Geri and I looked at each other, thinking uh, ok, and then Geri says, "how old is your daughter?", and the woman says, "She's 15. Sometimes we like to take baths together".

Oh.

I guess it's normal for a 40 year old woman to take baths with her 15 year old daughter?

It was all too bizarre for me!

Go West Young Man

I have just received news that my delinquant 20 something brother will be arriving sometime this week in Vancouver. I'm not sure that he has a plan, nor am I sure that he has any money, but he will be showing up here after riding in a car across the better part of Canada. That alone is a pretty amazing feat.

I know he's done it once before, because my mother took both of my brothers camping back when they were young lads. Not bad for a single mother with 3 kids. I was already off at Uni by this time.
So anyways, yeah. I have fears that he'll just get hooked on the Chronsky and then spend all of his time on the couch, not to mention the harder drugs that are literally a stone's throw away. Hopefully he's smarter than that. The drug scene here is just so harsh, that I can't help but worry.

I almost committed a GIANT blog faux pas yesterday as I was setting something up for our little neighbourhood group! I just went about my business setting up a new blog, and then realized that it was DIRECTLY connected to this blog, where I rant and rave about the hood, and just generally blow off steam about this N that.
That would be SO bad, for someone to read what I have written if it's not entirely favourable. YIKES! This is just a problem that I seem to get myself into over and over again throughout the years. It goes back, baby, and I can remember very early shadowy memories of how this behavior started.
Just one of the many dangers of putting all this stuff somewhere.

HIGH-YAAAAAAAA!

fabulous Friday!!!

I just received great news. Aside from waking up today relatively head ache free, my neighbour Susan just emailed to say that the housing sale didn't go through, and that she won't be moving.

Fantastic!!

I don't know the particulars of why the sale fell through. Perhaps the asking price of 719, 000 was too much. Perhaps there was a problem with the foundation or some such, which is almost an epidemic these days. People will buy anything out of panic it seems. Even we are guilty of that to some extent, but we just figured if WE didn't take it, then somebody else would. So here we are now...

Yes!! So I'll have to celebrate this weekend with a good old fashioned street cleaning, and garden overhaul.
solidarity through street cleaning!!!!!!

Blaaaaaaaaaahg your pain away

I'm home sick, and there are some that say I'm sick a lot, even though I feel like a super healthy person.
I felt this cold coming on all week, and Ibuprofin is just not kicking it. I would love some of those designer drugs that seem abundant in the good ole' USA, but I can't seem to get my hands on any.
I need a corrupt doctor.
So I'm just wallowing around today, and wish the head would detach itself from my shoulders for a while.
I'm determined to get some 'home chores' done, half dead or not. This is so offensive to say as I watch 24 hour non-stop Storm Watch on CNN.

Why don't I just kill my television once and for all!!?!!

I just dumped the remainder of Vij's heavenly Bengal 5 spice curry down the sick, so now I can smell the delicious aromas wafting up from the drains. mmmMmmmm delicious. Because I always rinse my dishes with hot water over the sink WITH the drying rack, so now I can count on that hot water mingling with the 5 day old, 5 spice curry, and drifting up to tantalize my nostrils. Excessuvis commas Accumulus. Yes, that is disgusting. And how's that for mundane? fer christs.

I do believe he must put crack in his curry, 'cause I could certainly eat it multiple times a week. We took our friends C and A from Claremont there, and we loved it to bits. Vij's. It's a fusion restaurant, so there are some interesting hybrids, but I'm much to conservative, or habitual to try anything different. Their Saag Paneer is to die for. Creamy and spicy and out of control really. Their Daal, which I would normally never order, and find too boring, is even fantastic. I would recommend this place to any tourist coming into Vancouver. It's just not cheap, so be prepared to shell out and enjoy!!

I do feel better. Hope this passes whatever it is.
uggghhhhhhlllllllllk

My neighbour Susan, two doors down, has decided to spring for the $719, 000 house. I can totally understand why she needs to leave. When a woman sits on her porch in the middle of summer and weeps, it's time to go. I'm sad, and bummed for selfish reasons. She tends to a public garden here that will now fill up with crud. Unimaginable crud.
It is sad.
She will be missed.

In the Ghetto

We've run into some ideological conundrums within our little neighbourhood group. Hands Across Hastings. It's a good thing, because I know that there is a fight a brewin', and it's just a matter of time before the shit hits the fan.
You see, our neighbourhood is strongly politicized, with many services for the homeless, addicted, and mentally ill. This is fine, and encouraged. But it is the criminal element that I personally am begging to take issue with, and this eventually boils down to the police not doing their job. Now I'll be the first to admit that I have some preconceptions about police officers, and this is based on personal experience. I have seen many occasions here in the city where the cops have basically run amok. And then there are the issues of abuse, which include assault and various other human rights violations committed on these same people we are asking them to protect. It's touchy and troublesome, and I can't even pretend to have it sorted out in my own head. I'm just wary of trying to speak for everyone, so we need tolerance.


Some people in the 'hood work for this group called the Portland Hotel Society. This group is in the business of managing peoples live, and it does so while at the same time serving their own needs. Which at times are altogether self serving. So while doing good work, they also rely on a steady stream of disenfranchised bodies to house and manage, so the criminal element to them, must seem to be an important link in the chain. I'm sure that they wouldn't come out and say as much, but they help users to organize and protest and ask for gov't sanctioned crack pipes. So for this interest that they have, I wonder why they can't just provide a marketplace for drugs on their own property, so that addicts can congregate there instead of everywhere else, and getting killed in traffic wandering oblivious into the streets. Something akin to a Farmer's Market. They're already opening dealing on the streets, so why not just flip them a courtyard to hang out in?

I see this element as something different when I see how it preys upon people. Especially women and young girls who really aren't making good choices, and either ARE or aren't aware of how cruel the world can be. Not to mention how seriously fucked up some individual's can be. It is harsh.


As it happens, when the gentrification begins, groups form to oppose the existence of these services, or the mere presence of these needy individuals. It's the typical Not In My Back Yard syndrome. One member of our little group, was a former mouthpiece for another group that bought condos in a super sketchy part of town, then began to protest the already existing issues that blighted the 'hood. He basked in some brief fame on the local news, and is quite zealous about his views. I don't feel comfortable aligning myself with him, because I'm more moderate and tolerant that he clearly is. On the other hand, I saw another couple of my neighbours in a vigilante style posse shout a hooker off the block. She had the saddest face, and it was someone I've seen many times. I would never shout her off the block. This pissed me off, but I really don't care to have johns lurking around either. I just thought that the two guys were a bit too Resevoir Dogs.

Guess I'm just venting off some steam. Will likely change my mind in an hour anyways. That's learnin' I guess.

I got this stupid email today...

"There is a house for sale on 800 Union st. for 719,000. It has a
finished basement suite ready to rent and is beautifully done upstairs.
Garage back yard etc. if you want to let your friends know.
- Bink"

Isn't that fuckin' ridiculous? I don't even really know this person, so am wondering how I even got on this list?
Thanks for lettin' me know Binks, I'll take 2!!!

And I am SO sick of talking about real estate! UGH.
boring Sydney!!!

A Mom blab... be forewarned!!!

Now I know why they call them the terrible twos.
It's like the child is posessed, with some irrational, dramatic, force that just keeps them going on for hours and hours and hours...until......(%@#$%$#@!!!!!%@$%)!!! And this is not hard to deal with, if you are in the right frame of mind, but if you are in the least bit tired, or divided in thought, and nearing the edge, you can be carried along in the chaos quite nicely until you realize that you are being PLAYED!!!

So we've signed the toddler up for tumbling class, where she can go with one of us, to burn off steam in the gyn, on a mat, with other kids. Good idea non?She has literally been flying off the couch lately. She's ALWAYS trying to do front rolls, and headstands, and all sorts of silliness.
I have been in many discussions with other moms over this 'to enrole', or 'not to enrole' aspect of parenting. I fall soundly in the middle and tend to tune out when some mothers starting listing off the activities, they do, which can amount to 4 days a week. Let the poor kid be a kid....sheesh. But if you have no ideas, maybe it's good to get in there. I dunno.

music appreciation, tumbling, yoga, swimming, art, dance, etc, etc, It's all a bit overwhelming really. And these sound like the good ones to me. How many other weird ones are out there that I just don't know about?

On the other end of the spectrum is the 'phobic of the outside world' mom, who rarely, if ever enroles her children in some extra curricular activity. What's the deal? "Oh, we tried the swimming thing, the teacher spent all the time with the weak kid".
Uh, yeah, it's called life, and maybe your child needs to learn some tolerance. Not to mention that swimming can be a life or death activity.

A life skill even.

What good is a bunch of pre teens on the beach wearing life jackets? If there's one thing that you should teach your child, it is to swim.I don't wanna be a buzz kill, so I'll just add that something really terrible happened around here regarding a toddler drowning, and it was a BAD scene. It was also connected to me as a business relationship, so I guess I'm passionate about this one. Teach your child to swim!!!

now playing...

Chad van Gaalen is a young lad from Calgary. I'm just getting into his album Infiniheart. It's all over the place.
care to give it a listen?

Avoid the Beating F**K OFF

Yrmom took all the credit for this one on Buzznet, but believe me, I took all the risk.
That's him and little "e" getting into that Hampton.

Why would someone wear a shirt like this in public? It totally freaks me out. So did finding him beside me after he acknowleged me taking a pic of him. His neck tattoos didn't scare me.

The PNE was such a great mix of humanity, how could you not just love everyone out there? I was well onto the freaks though. It must have been my motherspowers kicking in. I saw one guy, a grown adult male, dressed completely like Huck Finn. Yup, little straw hat, pants pulled up too high, with a weird belt cinched around him. And of course because I have this Freak Radar, the people always spot me out lookin'.
I can't help it, it's the peeping tom in me...and am just glad that I didn't get a beating for snapping this one....

teee heeeeeeee

There's a break in the clouds

Wow, it has taken a few days for the gravity of the flood situation to sink in. I'm always so reluctant to wade in because my mind is so reactionary until I start processing things.

I must be handicapable in some way.

It's also that my political views lean quite far on one side of the spectrum, even with the pockets of redneck that embarrassingly splurge forth at times. I don't need to call out the freaks and haters, they already appear in my bubble enough as it is!! I am a freak magnet, but less of one than in the past at least. We are making progress.
And yes, that IS a royal we.

When I finally got the scope of what was going on in the south, I couldn't believe the photos I was seeing on CNN. And I really had to control what I saw and heard, because it's hard enough for me to stay positive as it is. It's seriously a daily decision to try and stay positive, and then to see so much neglect and hardship ON OUR OWN CONTINENT, it was pretty bad there for a few days. I was baffled by all the talk of the looters and how heinous their supposed thefts were...um it's a life or death situation people....who cares about a few vcrs or whatnot? Then I heard of some truly awful shit, and all the bad people that take advantage of crisis situations, to rape and such. I'm a bit of a Polyanna when it comes to that. I guess I need to have some falsely inflated optimism towards humans. Otherwise, how do you go on? Why even today I read something tawdry about cannibalism. Really? That's got to be a nasty rumour. But nothing would surprise me even more. Some cannibals get busy when times are good.


I don't really want to add much, except to say that I'm happy to see that America is confronting it's own biases for a change. It seems like the disconnect between reality and the media has been there for so long. Even in the mainstream, there was such an absence of self-criticism about so much. And I'm not even as focused as SOME bloggers. I usually get his news stories a couple of weeks after the event. But we don't come here for news do we? We come here to read the ramblings about the neighbourhood, and to survey the flotsam that bobs out of my head.

that's 'nuff rambling for now

Village Green Preservation Society

"Yes people often change, but memories of people can remain."


Wow, I have finally listened to this album on my ipod. I had been avoiding it, associating the Kinks with songs like Lola and Come Dancing, which are both really over played and annoying.

This album is great. Naive maybe, but hey, we can't be negative cynical bastards all the time now can we? Can we?
I'm gonna give it some more listens, 'cause it's so positive.....and the world can really be so dark, I need this stuff.
I found a pool of blood on the way to work this morning, so was fairly disturbed all day.

Apparently some dude stole a cash register, then some other dude stabbed him for it.
I guess as long as these people just stick to stabbing each other, we'll all be fine.

S-A-TUR-DAY--NIGHT!!!!

I don't know how we're going to function when the inlaws return home.
It's been like having a nanny this past week and a half. I have had to do very little in the way of child care, between the old man and his mom. I can actually feel the energy level returning to normal. It also seems that the desire to be out and about has returned. It's been great. You can't keep a gemini down I guess. At least not half of the time anyway.
We went to an apple pie at Walker's new apartment last night. It was really fun. Not the incredible piss up that we enjoyed last weekend, but still a nice collection of people in a nice space. I was enjoying a night free of children when who should roll through the door but a couple of people toting their toddler along to an adult party. I was only mildly annoyed, and I say this in partial jest. For a toddler, she was pretty well behaved. No destruction, and no fussing that I could determine. Mine would have been tearing all about and draining glass wear and the like. Not in a Drew Barrymore sort of way, but just in a naughty sort of way. She's a handful. Karma's a bitch. I just want to keep one step ahead of her. For the time being anyhow.
Here's a pic of Walker and the increasingly notorious Jason McLean along with some gallery owner. Walker has a show coming up in London in the new year. She is doing fantastically well.
Earlier this year she had a showing in L.A. at the KristiEngle Gallery. That too I believe was a roaring success. What's next? Berlin? Moscow? We can only hope. I sure regretted not getting to her opening in California. I was stuck in that mentality of "I can't possibly leave the baby at home without me" phase. Ridiculous, but a necessary stage in a new mom's development I suppose. We are all so damn cliché non?
On the neighbourhood front, things have been uneventful for a few days.
That is, aside from some drug addict wandering into the busy street and being nailed by two young guys in a Toyota truck. He looked pretty bad from where I was standing, but I have to say that my sympathies were really with the drivers. They had no time to stop and what are you suppose to do with people who can't seem to keep themselves alive. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise for the guy. Maybe he'll be forced to detox.
Maybe he's a scum bag that just preys off of young women and he is better off somewhere else? I certainly don't have the answers, but the cops have created a ghetto in this city and now they say their hands are tied. I'm just trying to get by without having my soul sucked out by all the misery around here. It's a bit one note I know, but at least now I have a place where I can direct all my thoughts.
again, shouting into the void.....

ummmmmmm

Scratch that last post.
I'm going to bed.


tomorrow never knows....

Swinging Doors

When one door closes another one opens.
This is SO true.
I'm enjoying what life is throwing at me these days.
and that's all I have to add.....

Cleaning House

There was a momentary breach in the positivity bubble.

I recently dumped a friend of 20 years, and it was difficult, but ultimately necessary. This wasn't the first time, but it will be the last, and I know this because I had that gut rot that you feel when something is serious, and permanent. I mourned for a few days, had some regrets, evaluated my position, theirs, reflected on what was said, etc, etc...

Then I moved on.


I was talking to someone else about this, and mentioning how it feels like a death, this loss, but more so because you know that they are really still there, but it's for the best that you've parted. I won't go into the whole pettiness of it all, or it will sound like some juvenile grievance story. It was also such a ridiculous misunderstanding that started the ball rolling, that it will seem insane to read it myself. I'll just say that though the idea of having a friend for 20 years is great, the reality of it is impossible at best. Simply being stoners is not enough to keep people together.

I often found myself at ideological odds, and many times bit my tongue thinking that I would just allow their opinion, crazy as it seemed to me, and this would somehow be mature on my part. But I suppose these things build up. So much so, that when the shit hit the fan, I must say that I did get some good licks in.

I'm not proud of some of the things that were said, and I certainly can't take them back, but I also cannot recover from some of them, and it just seems easier to walk away. Fortunately I have enough close people that I can share my feelings and know that I'm not crazy, and yes, sometimes people do need to get away from each other, but still, it hurts.



So today I had a slight change in the pressure inside this bubble. Probably triggered by the death of my co-workers father, which really is the great universality amongst us all. All the emotions were right there at the surface when I was buying a sympathy card, and when I got home from work, I felt like I needed to sound off......so here I am.

I really struggled with writing about this here, but hey....we're keeping it real right?

Besides, it's not like anyone is reading this anyhooo......
so I'll just shout into the void.
And now it's time for music, the great healer of all.

There is Life after Child

Last night I went out to my first house party in years. It has been nearly impossible to drag me out anywhere these days, 'cause I'm usually dead tired and wanting to crash in my bed at some ridiculously early hour. But since the in-laws are here and ready to assist, I went out with my man last night and had a wonderful time.

I saw friends that I haven't seen in quite a while, and got the lowdown on some upcoming shows. I haven't really been too into the live shows lately, mostly because I feel that I have seen everything already, and now that the new bands sound like everything I've heard before, I just can't get behind some of them. Like Dinosaur Jr for example. I mean sure, I loved them before, but that was eons ago, and do I really want to shell out big bucks to see those old guys? Not really. So I'm more into my friends bands, which I think are great. Act and party locally right?

So we stayed out late late late last night.
We dragged our recently singled friend out, and of course, who should wander in, but her X, swilling wine straight out of the bottle. Classy. After the initial awkwardness, coupled with the additional awkwardness of having to talk to another friend's girl, whom he refers to as "summer babe", but in reality is just another home wrecking whore. And that's another story.
But yes, I was nice, even though there is nothing there to talk about except herself, and she's not even that interesting. If she had some wit or charm or even a semblance of intelligence, that would be another thing. But she doesn't, so I mostly focused on "new" people and basked in their positivity. Why flog an old dead horse.

Overall I quite enjoyed the socializing.
The dancing wasn't bad either.
I guess Mercury has relaxed and life is returning to normal.
This is really only speculation, but I'm gonna go with it.

night night

Another one bites the Dust

A couple of my good friends have just broken up after 7 years or so. It is sad. But it really is for the best, so I can't think that it's all bad. Of course it came as a huge shock to me, but what can you do? Just move on I suppose. Splitting up the mortgage and all, it could have been really ugly, but the maturity seems to be there, and they're just pressing forward. I saw one of them today, and we managed to have a good time amidst the swirling gossip and such. Times like these really bring out the ugly side of 'society'. Worrying about how people will find out, worrying about what folks will say, worrying about whether the other will hook up too soon.

It's been so long since I've experienced that range of emotion, being an 'old' married lady and all, but I do seem to recall walking around with that feeling as though I'd been kicked in the gut. At one time, starving and despondent, I even managed to squeeze into some high school jeans, and thought I looked FINE, wow, break ups are great for the figure, but really I was just fucked up and depressed. Ah, those were the days. University schoolgirl without a clue.

My girlfriend is handling it SO well. I of course envy her freedom. I was the first to say "great balls on you for making a move". Perhaps this seems strange, but two people could literally spend their entire lives walking around bored with each other and miserable, as their youth slips away. In fact, doesn't this really describe many married people that you know? Complacent. Safe. Boring.

The most classic thing I learned about the breakup was the fact that upon disclosure of her intentions, said boyfriend actually said, "if you ask me to, I'll beg you to stay". Um, no thank you. I think you've not done quite enough already. I really have nothing against this guy, it just seems to me that he is having his mid life crisis early, and that one day he will wake up a lonelier and bitterer old man.

Yadda Yadda

I'm rushing

Just checking in for a moment between chores. I wanted to check out my new look. I have learned how to link....yayyyyy!!!!!

The inlaws are coming for 2 weeks, so I need to perform some essential tasks before I can kick back and enjoy the free child care. We managed to score a gorgeous teak unit for the dining room, so are presently moving stacks and stacks of books and records. It must be done. I wasn't really counting on doing this much organizing and culling, but time is of the essence. It's hardly torture when we can simply tune into the real thing on the television. I would die without my tv, but I'm really disgusted at what I will watch. We'll see if I can just be strong and axe the cable sometime in the immediate future. I am learning nothing there. And it becomes harder and harder to hang on to my sanity.
Sometimes I just want to run nekked through the streets, screaming and pulling my hair......aaahaahhHHHHHH!
How is this for a schizophrenic post?

So yeah, more later, when I have something to say.
wish me luck with the outlaws and all 5 of us in our wee 1000 square foot house.....

It's happening

Seems that a wave of positivity has come over me.
I'm gonna ride it because it doesn't really matter if it's real or just perceived, it has sufficiently kicked me into the weekend, and that's what it's all about.
Maybe it's because I'm taking on some charitable work,
or maybe it's that astrological thing happening....I was talking with my friend Joseph in the park today, who just happens to be a Virgo. He told me that Virgos and Geminis are suppose to be buddies.I am always glad to hear this, as sometimes even Geminis can't seem to be buddies. And I'm surrounded by Geminis in this 'hood!
So he's got a few years on me, and he's an artist, so I can relate to him as someone who perhaps has more experience than myself, and I'm gonna buy what he's saying. We had a good chat about this and that, and he put somethings into better perspective for me. I really value my older friends for their advice. It's nice to get some space of years. Our social groups can sometimes be a big boring monoculture.

We're gonna talk about him making some securty bars for us.
I'm not really into making my house a death trap, or a prison, but it's definitley time to take more serious security. It's scary to be embracing that fortress mentality I know, but maybe it should be done. He spoke of some meth head hurling a rock through his friend's living room window and stealing a purse. At six in the morning when everyone was sleeping.
That's insane. And this happened in a relatively good part of the neighbourhood.

Just yesterday afternoon, my dog prevented a break in at my neighbour's house.I was upstairs and heard some serious rooster barking, and by the time I made it down to the back of the house, I could just see some dirt bag heading out their front gate. I sent him on his way with a verbal salute. To which he responded, "I wasn't doing nothing". Um, yeah.
Ok, blathering be done.
Gonna sand and paint today for awhile.
The inlaws are coming and we must see some progress.