Monday, August 29, 2005

Village Green Preservation Society

"Yes people often change, but memories of people can remain."

Wow, I have finally listened to this album on my ipod. I had been avoiding it, associating the Kinks with songs like Lola and Come Dancing, which are both really over played and annoying.

This album is great. Naive maybe, but hey, we can't be negative cynical bastards all the time now can we? Can we?
I'm gonna give it some more listens, 'cause it's so positive.....and the world can really be so dark, I need this stuff.
I found a pool of blood on the way to work this morning, so was fairly disturbed all day.

Apparently some dude stole a cash register, then some other dude stabbed him for it.
I guess as long as these people just stick to stabbing each other, we'll all be fine.

Sunday, August 28, 2005


I don't know how we're going to function when the inlaws return home.
It's been like having a nanny this past week and a half. I have had to do very little in the way of child care, between the old man and his mom. I can actually feel the energy level returning to normal. It also seems that the desire to be out and about has returned. It's been great. You can't keep a gemini down I guess. At least not half of the time anyway.
We went to an apple pie at Walker's new apartment last night. It was really fun. Not the incredible piss up that we enjoyed last weekend, but still a nice collection of people in a nice space. I was enjoying a night free of children when who should roll through the door but a couple of people toting their toddler along to an adult party. I was only mildly annoyed, and I say this in partial jest. For a toddler, she was pretty well behaved. No destruction, and no fussing that I could determine. Mine would have been tearing all about and draining glass wear and the like. Not in a Drew Barrymore sort of way, but just in a naughty sort of way. She's a handful. Karma's a bitch. I just want to keep one step ahead of her. For the time being anyhow.
Here's a pic of Walker and the increasingly notorious Jason McLean along with some gallery owner. Walker has a show coming up in London in the new year. She is doing fantastically well.
Earlier this year she had a showing in L.A. at the KristiEngle Gallery. That too I believe was a roaring success. What's next? Berlin? Moscow? We can only hope. I sure regretted not getting to her opening in California. I was stuck in that mentality of "I can't possibly leave the baby at home without me" phase. Ridiculous, but a necessary stage in a new mom's development I suppose. We are all so damn cliché non?
On the neighbourhood front, things have been uneventful for a few days.
That is, aside from some drug addict wandering into the busy street and being nailed by two young guys in a Toyota truck. He looked pretty bad from where I was standing, but I have to say that my sympathies were really with the drivers. They had no time to stop and what are you suppose to do with people who can't seem to keep themselves alive. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise for the guy. Maybe he'll be forced to detox.
Maybe he's a scum bag that just preys off of young women and he is better off somewhere else? I certainly don't have the answers, but the cops have created a ghetto in this city and now they say their hands are tied. I'm just trying to get by without having my soul sucked out by all the misery around here. It's a bit one note I know, but at least now I have a place where I can direct all my thoughts.
again, shouting into the void.....

Wednesday, August 24, 2005


Scratch that last post.
I'm going to bed.

tomorrow never knows....

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Swinging Doors

When one door closes another one opens.
This is SO true.
I'm enjoying what life is throwing at me these days.
and that's all I have to add.....

Monday, August 22, 2005

Cleaning House

There was a momentary breach in the positivity bubble.

I recently dumped a friend of 20 years, and it was difficult, but ultimately necessary. This wasn't the first time, but it will be the last, and I know this because I had that gut rot that you feel when something is serious, and permanent. I mourned for a few days, had some regrets, evaluated my position, theirs, reflected on what was said, etc, etc...

Then I moved on.

I was talking to someone else about this, and mentioning how it feels like a death, this loss, but more so because you know that they are really still there, but it's for the best that you've parted. I won't go into the whole pettiness of it all, or it will sound like some juvenile grievance story. It was also such a ridiculous misunderstanding that started the ball rolling, that it will seem insane to read it myself. I'll just say that though the idea of having a friend for 20 years is great, the reality of it is impossible at best. Simply being stoners is not enough to keep people together.

I often found myself at ideological odds, and many times bit my tongue thinking that I would just allow their opinion, crazy as it seemed to me, and this would somehow be mature on my part. But I suppose these things build up. So much so, that when the shit hit the fan, I must say that I did get some good licks in.

I'm not proud of some of the things that were said, and I certainly can't take them back, but I also cannot recover from some of them, and it just seems easier to walk away. Fortunately I have enough close people that I can share my feelings and know that I'm not crazy, and yes, sometimes people do need to get away from each other, but still, it hurts.

So today I had a slight change in the pressure inside this bubble. Probably triggered by the death of my co-workers father, which really is the great universality amongst us all. All the emotions were right there at the surface when I was buying a sympathy card, and when I got home from work, I felt like I needed to sound here I am.

I really struggled with writing about this here, but hey....we're keeping it real right?

Besides, it's not like anyone is reading this anyhooo......
so I'll just shout into the void.
And now it's time for music, the great healer of all.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

There is Life after Child

Last night I went out to my first house party in years. It has been nearly impossible to drag me out anywhere these days, 'cause I'm usually dead tired and wanting to crash in my bed at some ridiculously early hour. But since the in-laws are here and ready to assist, I went out with my man last night and had a wonderful time.

I saw friends that I haven't seen in quite a while, and got the lowdown on some upcoming shows. I haven't really been too into the live shows lately, mostly because I feel that I have seen everything already, and now that the new bands sound like everything I've heard before, I just can't get behind some of them. Like Dinosaur Jr for example. I mean sure, I loved them before, but that was eons ago, and do I really want to shell out big bucks to see those old guys? Not really. So I'm more into my friends bands, which I think are great. Act and party locally right?

So we stayed out late late late last night.
We dragged our recently singled friend out, and of course, who should wander in, but her X, swilling wine straight out of the bottle. Classy. After the initial awkwardness, coupled with the additional awkwardness of having to talk to another friend's girl, whom he refers to as "summer babe", but in reality is just another home wrecking whore. And that's another story.
But yes, I was nice, even though there is nothing there to talk about except herself, and she's not even that interesting. If she had some wit or charm or even a semblance of intelligence, that would be another thing. But she doesn't, so I mostly focused on "new" people and basked in their positivity. Why flog an old dead horse.

Overall I quite enjoyed the socializing.
The dancing wasn't bad either.
I guess Mercury has relaxed and life is returning to normal.
This is really only speculation, but I'm gonna go with it.

night night

Friday, August 19, 2005

Another one bites the Dust

A couple of my good friends have just broken up after 7 years or so. It is sad. But it really is for the best, so I can't think that it's all bad. Of course it came as a huge shock to me, but what can you do? Just move on I suppose. Splitting up the mortgage and all, it could have been really ugly, but the maturity seems to be there, and they're just pressing forward. I saw one of them today, and we managed to have a good time amidst the swirling gossip and such. Times like these really bring out the ugly side of 'society'. Worrying about how people will find out, worrying about what folks will say, worrying about whether the other will hook up too soon.

It's been so long since I've experienced that range of emotion, being an 'old' married lady and all, but I do seem to recall walking around with that feeling as though I'd been kicked in the gut. At one time, starving and despondent, I even managed to squeeze into some high school jeans, and thought I looked FINE, wow, break ups are great for the figure, but really I was just fucked up and depressed. Ah, those were the days. University schoolgirl without a clue.

My girlfriend is handling it SO well. I of course envy her freedom. I was the first to say "great balls on you for making a move". Perhaps this seems strange, but two people could literally spend their entire lives walking around bored with each other and miserable, as their youth slips away. In fact, doesn't this really describe many married people that you know? Complacent. Safe. Boring.

The most classic thing I learned about the breakup was the fact that upon disclosure of her intentions, said boyfriend actually said, "if you ask me to, I'll beg you to stay". Um, no thank you. I think you've not done quite enough already. I really have nothing against this guy, it just seems to me that he is having his mid life crisis early, and that one day he will wake up a lonelier and bitterer old man.

Yadda Yadda

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

I'm rushing

Just checking in for a moment between chores. I wanted to check out my new look. I have learned how to link....yayyyyy!!!!!

The inlaws are coming for 2 weeks, so I need to perform some essential tasks before I can kick back and enjoy the free child care. We managed to score a gorgeous teak unit for the dining room, so are presently moving stacks and stacks of books and records. It must be done. I wasn't really counting on doing this much organizing and culling, but time is of the essence. It's hardly torture when we can simply tune into the real thing on the television. I would die without my tv, but I'm really disgusted at what I will watch. We'll see if I can just be strong and axe the cable sometime in the immediate future. I am learning nothing there. And it becomes harder and harder to hang on to my sanity.
Sometimes I just want to run nekked through the streets, screaming and pulling my hair......aaahaahhHHHHHH!
How is this for a schizophrenic post?

So yeah, more later, when I have something to say.
wish me luck with the outlaws and all 5 of us in our wee 1000 square foot house.....

Sunday, August 14, 2005

It's happening

Seems that a wave of positivity has come over me.
I'm gonna ride it because it doesn't really matter if it's real or just perceived, it has sufficiently kicked me into the weekend, and that's what it's all about.
Maybe it's because I'm taking on some charitable work,
or maybe it's that astrological thing happening....I was talking with my friend Joseph in the park today, who just happens to be a Virgo. He told me that Virgos and Geminis are suppose to be buddies.I am always glad to hear this, as sometimes even Geminis can't seem to be buddies. And I'm surrounded by Geminis in this 'hood!
So he's got a few years on me, and he's an artist, so I can relate to him as someone who perhaps has more experience than myself, and I'm gonna buy what he's saying. We had a good chat about this and that, and he put somethings into better perspective for me. I really value my older friends for their advice. It's nice to get some space of years. Our social groups can sometimes be a big boring monoculture.

We're gonna talk about him making some securty bars for us.
I'm not really into making my house a death trap, or a prison, but it's definitley time to take more serious security. It's scary to be embracing that fortress mentality I know, but maybe it should be done. He spoke of some meth head hurling a rock through his friend's living room window and stealing a purse. At six in the morning when everyone was sleeping.
That's insane. And this happened in a relatively good part of the neighbourhood.

Just yesterday afternoon, my dog prevented a break in at my neighbour's house.I was upstairs and heard some serious rooster barking, and by the time I made it down to the back of the house, I could just see some dirt bag heading out their front gate. I sent him on his way with a verbal salute. To which he responded, "I wasn't doing nothing". Um, yeah.
Ok, blathering be done.
Gonna sand and paint today for awhile.
The inlaws are coming and we must see some progress.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

New Developments on the Silverfish Defense Front

Lespisma sacchrina

Ugh!! I have been battling these insects since we moved in here in 2003, and by battling, I mostly mean waging war when we come into contact with each other. I tend to not like to kill things, in the event that some larger swarm of family might come to avenge their death.

I am reading some pretty disturbing and disgusting facts about these most creepy of bugs.
They are silvery brown and wingless, and covered in scales from head to toe.
They are called living fossils, because they are basically pre-insect, which usually tend to have wings.


Apparently they are classed as "chewing insects", meaning that they literally are sucking and rasping their little hearts out in my house. In the dark. At night. At which time the light exposes them, and they try to slither away.
They move FAST!

They are everywhere.
And I am FORCED to co-exist with them.
I have been reluctant to use any toxic product, as I am phobic of chemicals, but I have a fantastic tip that might rid me of a few million of them.
So before you go to bed, roll up a newspaper,wet it, and leave it out somewhere where you've seen them slithering.
In the morning...and I would suggest to move fast and be ready.
You just grab the newspaper and dispose of it into a plastic bag and be rid of it.

This should draw hoards and hoards of them out from their hiding places.
It sounds heinous to even suggest doing such a thing, but they are such a nuisance, that it must be done.
I can imagine how the ink draws them out, because I've seen them scuttle out of the freshly printed paper that might have been lying on the floor for a time.
It's gross.
I even had one pass over the next page in my hardcover that was in bed with me.

I EVEN have a bad flashback to the time I found one on little e's back in bed with me.
It was reminiscent of something from David Cronenburg.

Wish me luck...

Friday, August 05, 2005

OH Jeebus!!

feel like I should be spending some time familiarizing myself with the layout functions,
and how to link this up with my buzznet account......
tomdog's got it going on....I'll just ask him one of these days.

Puttering around trying to get shit done without overdoing it in the ankle department.
I tend to underestimate injuries and probably prolong the healing process.

Um, I tend to be rambling.
maybe I'll go check out the "help" section of blogger.......

clearly that's all folks...

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Old Bitch

Ok, so I was home today with a gimped ankle.
Funny how I thought all would be well yesterday when it happened.
Wishful thinking?
It's always worse than I figure it will be.

So I spent the day at home, patrolling the joint and hobbling about doing this and that.
I saw the glorious Old Dutch truck pull up out front.
Old Dutch always makes me laugh and think of my Best Gal Leigh from Alberta.
Sadly, we have drifted, but nonetheless, I think of Old Dutch, or Old Bitch as Leigh used to like to call it,
a specifically Albertan thing.

This will have no meaning to most of you, but anyone from this land will know exactly what I'm talking about.
them albertans are special their own way
definitely a unique bunch anyhoo.....

so back to the story,

Anyways, I'm hanging up the laundry and I hear the back door of his truck finally open, so glancing outside,
I see a youngish working girl moving away from the truck,
then I see his dolly drop down to the ground and it seems that he's about to work.

Now I'm fairly paranoid about the goings on in the 'hood, because it's gotten pretty ugly of late, and there always seems to be something unsavoury going on.
In fact, my neighbour Jeff tells me that there was one roaring crack party happening on my porch last Sunday morning as he was heading off to work.
That would explain my crushed Irises.
He said there were at least 5 people and 2 bikes.


So to make a long story short,
I called in on the delivery guy for partying with a hooker when he should be working.
A bitter, nosey neighbour move I know.
But honestly, I do get sick of the antics.

I'm not going to edit this rant, but maybe I'll consider posting some warning at the beginning.

*danger, high rambling content